Lately I have been focused on getting back on track after a couple of weeks of bad binges. I have been very hard on myself and trying to focus on forgiving myself for all of the mistakes I have made. Today I realized that I should see all of my regrets over the last couple of weeks as lessons learned. Yes, I regret them, but I am thankful that they have taught me about what not to do in the future.
One thing the regrets over the last couple of weeks have taught me is that I need to take back control over my decisions. I have been letting my cravings take control of my life. I told myself that I can handle it and that it’s OK to eat or drink way too much. What I realized was that it wasn’t me taking control and deciding to binge, it was the cravings that were taking over me. I have learned that I really need to think about why I am eating or drinking something before hand. The more I let myself binge and tell myself that it is OK to binge, the more likely I am to do it.
Another thing that regrets have taught me over the last couple of weeks is that I will never know unless I try. I tend to tell myself I can’t do certain things without even making an attempt. Because I tell myself I can’t do it, I end up not even trying in the first place. It’s just like my post about giving up before I even try(see post here). I end up regretting the fact that I didn’t even try to do something and lost that opportunity. I have learned that when I do try I tend to actually be able to do it! I get really excited that I was more capable than I thought I would be.
Giving up before I even try has come up a lot in the last couple of weeks. I tell myself that I am not going to eat sweets or drink wine, but before I even try to avoid sweets or wine I tell myself it is ok to eat them. I tell myself that I can control myself. I end up not being able to control myself. This makes me realize that if I never gave up, I would have not binged at all. I can physically avoid food. It may seem hard, but I can do it!
I am working on reflecting on the actions I regret and turning them into lessons to be learned in the future.
