This week did not start well. On Sunday I had a mental breakdown. I had a good cry for the first time since I started my medicine. Initially I had no idea why I was crying, but then I realized that I was overwhelming myself. I wasn’t letting myself enjoy relaxation. I made myself think that any sort of relaxation was bad. I pushed myself to try to get too much done in one day and was way too hard on myself if I didn’t finish.
The breakdown started on Saturday when I drank way too much and had ate too much. I started Saturday on a good note, but after feeling overwhelmed I just kept reaching for food. I felt awful immediately after. I think those feelings carried over to the next day. Thankfully I was able to calm down and relax. I came to the realization that I was working myself too hard and started Monday on a good night.
As I write this it’s Friday at 4pm and I am still in a good place. I haven’t binge eaten all week. I am very proud of myself for getting back on track after how upset I was on Sunday.
Update: On Friday night I ended up eating even more after dinner. Given how well I did all week, I’m not mad at myself.
The biggest challenge I had this week was Wednesday. I had eaten some chocolate chips, and I probably had a few too many in my dish. I also had some wine and drank it way too fast. I was really wanting to reach for more chocolate and more wine, but I stopped. I asked myself how more chocolate and wine would make me feel. I knew that if I had more chocolate and more wine I would wake up feeling awful. Instead, I went for water and felt great the next morning!
This week I have been focused on allowing myself more time to relax. When I feel like I need a break, I finish what I am working on and give myself a break. I have also been adding a little bit less to my to do list. I’ve realized I don’t necessary need to finish everything on my to do list. Some things can be left for the next day. It’s important to prioritize what is most important.
The last thing I’ve thought about this week is learning more about nutrition. I am going to focus on trying to spend a little time each day learning new things about fitness, nutrition, wellness and more. I want to be able to share all of that knowledge with you!
How was your week?